I went to Wal-mart and bought a new set of scales and tape measure. Now I can truly begin to measure my successes and failures in pounds and inches.
As of today, according to my Sunbeam scales, I weigh 264 lbs. I am the biggest I have ever been. The thought makes me nervous. Nervousness makes me eat. It is really odd how sometimes when I am nervous or upset, the first thing I go for is food or chocolate. I pop it in my mouth and actually sigh. I wonder if that is what an addict feels like when they get their fix. I just roll my eyes back in my head and enjoy the feelings as the endorphins kick in.
"Hi, my name is Melanie, and I am an addict." No pun intended. I think I am addicted to food. Food is my comfort. Food makes me happy. Chocolate covered strawberries are the best thing ever.
I am glad I don't have an addiction to drugs or alcohol. I am glad I am not addicted to nicotine or porn. But why do I have to be addicted to food, something my body needs to live?
Just as any other addict has to fight their addiction, I have to fight mine. This blog is part of my fight. As I vocalize, it makes it real for me. It is theraputic. I can identify my weaknesses and learn how to cope with them. Since I blogged about my triggers, I recognize them more readily and it is easier to resist.
Until next time, have a healthy journey. ~Melanie
As of today, according to my Sunbeam scales, I weigh 264 lbs. I am the biggest I have ever been. The thought makes me nervous. Nervousness makes me eat. It is really odd how sometimes when I am nervous or upset, the first thing I go for is food or chocolate. I pop it in my mouth and actually sigh. I wonder if that is what an addict feels like when they get their fix. I just roll my eyes back in my head and enjoy the feelings as the endorphins kick in.
"Hi, my name is Melanie, and I am an addict." No pun intended. I think I am addicted to food. Food is my comfort. Food makes me happy. Chocolate covered strawberries are the best thing ever.
I am glad I don't have an addiction to drugs or alcohol. I am glad I am not addicted to nicotine or porn. But why do I have to be addicted to food, something my body needs to live?
Just as any other addict has to fight their addiction, I have to fight mine. This blog is part of my fight. As I vocalize, it makes it real for me. It is theraputic. I can identify my weaknesses and learn how to cope with them. Since I blogged about my triggers, I recognize them more readily and it is easier to resist.
Until next time, have a healthy journey. ~Melanie
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